It’s the back-to-school season, which means it’s that time of year when magical boys and girls will be gathering their books of spells and heading off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Well, they would be if it were real. And if you’re anything like us, we’re sure that you’ve imagined that if it were real, you would have received your Hogwarts acceptance letter and would have eventually been sorted into one of the four Hogwarts houses: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff.
In the real world, your Hogwarts house probably doesn’t come up a whole lot and you don’t get around on a broomstick, but car culture offers the next best thing. Long before Harry Potter became a massive cultural success, automotive brands were taking on personas of their own and car buyers were proudly declaring themselves “Ford families” and joining car clubs with like-minded people who enjoyed the same kind of vehicles.
This got us thinking, “If we were going to put the Sorting Hat on each of the major automakers, where would they end up?”. To keep things simple, we chose four auto manufacturers (one for each house) and did our best to sort them into their appropriate houses based on each brand’s own persona. Does your current ride match your Hogwarts house? We sorted Ford, Stellantis, Toyota, and General Motors into the Hogwarts house that best fits their abilities and personalities.
Gryffindor – Ford
Godric Gryffindor – founder of the Gryffindor house – claimed the best traits to be nerve, daring, chivalry, and courage, and so these are what we need to look for in a car.
Had the Sorting Hat decided, we are sure it would have chosen Ford to be in Gryffindor. Hardworking, trustworthy, reliable, and strong, there’s a reason the F-150 is the highest-selling vehicle in the U.S. year after year. People know what they’re getting out of a Ford. With a strong background in motorsports and off-roading, Ford has been a trailblazer and a top dog in the industry for generations. With tons of trophies under its belt, just like Gryffindor, Ford is a winner. Just look at the high-selling Mustang Mach-E!
Harry Potter’s Favorite
Let’s not forget that in the second film – The Chamber of Secrets – Harry and Ron actually turned up at school in a flying Ford Anglia after missing the train. Despite the car being heavily battered, they got there in one piece.
Stellantis – Slytherin
Slytherins are all about ambition, determination, resourcefulness, and power, so we had to choose an automaker that specializes in brute force.
With the recent merger between Fiat Chrysler Automobiles (FCA) and the French PSA Group, we now have Stellantis Motors, a massive conglomeration that owns Dodge, Jeep, Ram, Maserati, Lancia, Alfa Romeo, and more. Of course, the Stellantis names with the most mass appeal are Dodge, Jeep, and Ram – brands famous for cramming hilariously large V8s into their vehicles and giving them sinister names to match.
All About Power
If you want to instill fear in your enemies and exercise your power on and off the pavement, models like the Dodge Challenger Hellcat, the Ram 1500 TRX, and the Jeep Wrangler Rubicon 392 will certainly accomplish those goals. Even He Who Must Not Be Named would find himself right at home at Stellantis. Maybe they could resurrect the Dodge Viper for a one-off Voldemort Edition. We’d take it for a spin!
Ravenclaw – Toyota
Everyone knows that Ravenclaws are the smartest kids in the school, so to reflect this, we need an innovative car manufacturer who outsmarts the competition with excellent engineering and tech-savvy. So, for this, we decided that Japanese-based Toyota would be the best bet.
Smart Engineering
As we know from the movies, Ravenclaw’s strength comes from their knowledge, especially when it comes to magic. Toyota is known for developing high-tech solutions to many of motoring’s problems. They pioneered hybrid vehicle technology before it was cool with the Prius. They mastered the affordable compact car with the Camry. And their excellent engineering and high-quality production mean models like the Tacoma and 4Runner hold their value better than almost anything else on the market.
Hufflepuff – GM
Don’t overlook this one! The traits that define a Hufflepuff are loyalty, justice, patience, and a love of hard work. What better company than GM to fill the last house?
General Motors (GM) is responsible for putting Buick, Chevrolet, GMC, and Cadillac on dealer lots. It’s hard not to see loyalty in a company that’s so dedicated to producing the right vehicle for you at every stage of life.
Never Let You Down
Looking for a starter car? A Chevy Trax is an affordable option! First work truck? The Silverado gets the job done. Buick offers premium SUVs at a great value, like the Encore GX. Plenty of big, well-to-do families thrive in GMC models like the Acadia. And for the lucky few who can afford true luxury, the Cadillac Escalade continues to set the standard of the world.
Of course, now they are pushing for an all-electric future, GM is being loyal to the planet and trying to make a genuine difference in true Hufflepuff fashion!
And there you have it! Four of the biggest automakers in the U.S. have officially been sorted into their Hogwarts houses! Don’t worry, none of this is canon, so you’re still able to find your BestRide with whichever brand you prefer. In fact, you can get started here today!
